"Hey! Heather! Come on! The Tonight Show is starting!" Sandee called from the living room. I lie there on Heather's bed with my face buried in the pillows. I wasn't sure I could watch the guys with these girls again.
The previous night, we had all gathered around the TV and watched All Access. I was kind of looking forward to it because I had never watched it with fans before. I was not prepared for what I had seen.
Sandee would continuously stop and rewind on almost everything I did. She seemed to have a name for everything I did. There was "the smooth sit down" (sitting down in a chair in "As Long as You Love Me"...personally, I didn't think it was all that smooth) and "the sun rising" (where I turned around and the light hit my chest in "Quit Playing Games"). Every few minutes she would switch from calling out the parts to "He's my button" to doing the smack down.
"Come on, Heather. This is one of your favorite moves," she had said as she pointed towards the TV. I looked at it to see a shot of Nick doing a hair swoop from "Quit Playing Games." I tried my hardest to look enthused, but it was Nick!
Amy and Peggy were a little calmer, but when Brian and Howie would appear on the screen, each would make her own individual comments. They each had a different way of appreciating their guy.
Amy sat in the corner of the couch, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Look at the curls! Look at the blue eyes! He's mine. All of him is mine," she said when Brian flashed on the screen. For such a quiet person, she was a little possessive.
All Peggy would do was give a sly look to the rest of us when Howie would appear on the screen. She would do her own version of the smack down and say, "Oh, yeah," every once in a while.
But out of all of them, Kasey was the most interesting to watch. She made several interesting comments when Kevin appeared. She bounced around the room and did both the "Everybody" routine and the "As Long as You Love Me" routine. She was very good.
At one point, she sprawled out on the runner in the middle of the floor in her purple pajamas and explained in detail what she was going to do when she meets Kevin. "You see, I'm probably not going to say a word to him. I'm going to draw up a contract that says he must acknowledge that I love him. He doesn't have to do anything; he doesn't have to say anything. He just has to sign it," she explained.
As I laid in bed remembering all of that, I wasn't sure I could go through it again. The appearance that night would be something new and there was no telling what they would do during it.
"Heather! Get your lazy butt out of bed and in here on the couch!" Sandee ordered as she strolled into the bedroom. Without saying another word, she took a running go and jumped onto the bed. My heart skipped a beat as long strands of black hair brushed against my face. I reached up to touch them. They were soft, silky, smelled like Pantene, and they tickled my face.
"Come on, let's go watch AJ," Sandee's voice pulled me out of my trance. I had forgotten for a moment that I was in Heather's body. I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted her to know that I was AJ. But I couldn't do anything until I talked to EmmE.
Sandee got up and walked into the living room. She claimed her favorite spot on the couch, grabbed the remote, and turned up the volume. She and the rest of the girls cheered when they announced the Backstreet Boys.
I wondered how Heather did on The Tonight Show. Curiosity got the best of me, and I sauntered into the living room. I found a spot on the couch between Peggy and Sandee and prepared to watch the performance.
"Nervous again, aren't you?" I looked up to see Nick standing in front of me. He smiled down at me and swept his blond hair out of his eyes. A shiver ran down my spine. He sat down next to me on the green room couch.
"Yeah, but it's not as bad as the concerts," I said as I looked down at my hands. I was nervously twiddling my thumbs.
I had just told Nick a lie. I was terrified. Performing a concert for fans was one thing, but performing on national television for millions of viewers was quite another.
Nick draped his long arm across the back of the couch. "It shouldn't be too bad," he reassured me.
I looked down. His leg was touching mine, and I could smell his Gravity. My hand reached out to touch his leg. I was almost there when a voice brought me back to reality.
"Hey, AJ! You're looking a little pale. Are you going to be alright?" I pulled my hand away and looked up to see Brian strolling towards us with a big, cheesy grin on his face. I didn't know what it was about his sunny demeanor, but he reminded me a lot of Amy. They both seemed to have the worst timing.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just don't feel well," I answered a little too defensively.
Brian and Nick exchanged a high-five, then Brian turned his attention to me. "I didn't know you were in a bad mood, man. I'm sorry," he apologized.
I softened a little. "It's alright."
"Backstreet Boys to the stage, please," a voice called over the intercom.
"That's our cue!" Brian announced as the cheesy grin returned to his face. Nick stood up, and he and Brian disappeared through the door followed by Kevin and Howie. I heaved a sigh and stood up. I then walked out the door.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! We've got a very special treat for you tonight. To brighten up our third day in Orlando, we have one of this city's finest groups. No, it's not 'N Sync. Fresh from their latest world tour and performing their newest single 'Larger Than Life' from their CD Millennium, it's the Backstreet Boys!" Jay Leno announced to the screaming crowd.
I winced as I listened to the screaming girls. Standing there in the dark, I prayed that I wouldn't mess up. Oh, God! What's the first move?
The lights went up and the first three beats of the song started. I took a deep breath, whirled around, and let out AJ's laugh. The girls went wild. At that moment something happened to me. I began to realize that no matter what I did, those girls would scream. Their screams seemed to fuel the natural ham in me.
The other four whirled around, and we began the dance routine. Left, right, jump, turn. Hey, I was doing alright. We began to sing, and I spotted the camera. It was pointed directly at me. I wondered if Sandee could see me.
As the girls got louder, I became adventurous. Slowly, I began to take my shirt off. The more skin I showed, the more screams I got. I completely forgot about the routine. Finally, the shirt was off. Getting even more adventurous, I went for the pants. Sandee, this is for you, I thought.
My jaw dropped, and my eyes almost popped out of my head. "What the hell?" I sputtered.
I looked over at Sandee. She was doing the smack down to the music and a huge grin had spread across her face. None of this was bothering her in the least.
I looked at the rest of the girls. Amy had her hands over her eyes, and her face was bright red. Peggy just stared at the screen. Kasey was saying, "Oh, yeah!" over and over again. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.
"NO!!!" I screamed as I hurled myself towards the TV. I planted my body in front of the screen. I turned around to face the girls while still covering the picture.
"Heather! Move!" Sandee yelled.
"No," I firmly said.
"Move your butt out of the way! It's going to be on tape anyway," Sandee ordered.
"No."
"What's gotten into you? You'd be the first one enjoying this. Move!!!!!"
"No!!!!!" I stood my ground. I'd worry about the tape later. There was absolutely no way I was going to let my angel see more of my body than was necessary. What in the world had gotten into Heather?
I looked behind me to see what was happening on the screen. Nick and Brian had stopped Heather before she did anymore damage, and they were finishing the song. As the song ended and the crowd started to applaud, I moved. Everyone looked at me as I sat back down.
"Heather, what's wrong? Why did you do that?" Sandee asked.
"AJ's not a piece of meat, you know," I shot.
She looked at me and obviously was taken aback. "I don't think AJ would have completely stripped on national television," she shot back.
"Heather, are you alright?" Amy asked quietly. "This is just one of the weird things you've been doing lately. I really think that there's something wrong. You're not yourself."
"Look, I'm just tired. I'm going to bed," I announced. I was still in a bad mood. I was tired of being Heather; I wanted to be AJ again.
I got up and walked to my bedroom. When I reached the door, I turned back, and my eyes met Sandee's. Her previous look of anger had melted into worry. She looked like she was very worried about her best friend, and frankly, so was I. I walked into the bedroom and shut the door.
"AJ! What's wrong with you?" Kevin hissed when he pulled me aside during the commercial break. He and the other three Backstreet Boys were glaring at me.
"I wasn't going to strip all the way. I was just going to have a little fun, that's all," I explained.
Kevin's anger subsided a little and a concerned look crossed his face. "A month ago, we could have blamed it on your accident, but now, I don't know what's going on. This is just one of the strange things you've been doing lately. I really do believe that there's something wrong," he said.
I looked down. I had really blown it that time. I thought back on AJ's and my conversation. The homesickness crept into my stomach again.
I looked up at Kevin. I was frustrated, and I was tired of being AJ. "I'm sorry," I said.
"We're not mad," Howie interjected. "We're just worried, that's all. I mean, all of sudden, you break up with Amber; you've been talking to this girl named Heather, whom we've never even heard about." He then leaned in closer to me. "And I've seen some of the strange looks you've been giving Nick."
I sighed and spoke before I even thought about it. "I can't do it anymore! I can't be AJ anymore! I keep ruining his life!" I blurted.
Four handsome faces developed very puzzled looks. Before any of them could ask me what I was talking about, the stage manager scurried towards us. "Places, please. We're on in five minutes," he instructed.
Without another word, we walked over to Jay's couch and chose our places. Brian, Howie, and I sat down on the couch while Nick and Kevin took the two stools behind us.
The stage manager stood behind the camera and signaled. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...the camera began to roll.